A-Rod Enjoys a Night Out on the Town

The Mets may have had a fairly lousy and eventful offseason, but Alex Rodriguez has not exactly been the picture of quiet dignity these past few months, either.

First, A-Rod abandoned his wife Cynthia for a flaccid affair with his "soulmate" -- an aging, skeletal whore you may have heard of named Madonna. Then, his name was dropped in the federal investigation into steroid abuse in baseball and yeah, he officially came clean that his record will also be tainted with a big asterisk. Finally, ex-skipper Joe Torre penned a tell-all book on his Yankee years where Rodriguez was revealed to have the nickname "A-Fraud" among his teammates and had allegedly developed a "Single White Female" obsession with Derek Jeter.

Tough times, indeed. So it only makes sense that Rodriguez would take a little pre-Spring-Training trip down to the Bahamas for an escape and diversion. And fortunately for us, Radar Online was there to capture one of his evenings for all posterior, I mean posterity.

Let's relive those moments, shall we?


"I'm straight! Really, I am! Let me show you, baby! Wait, what do you mean by 'I doth protest too much?'"


"Ooh, that's a fine, muscular, almost-masculine ass."


"Dude, come sit a little closer! Let's get comfy together while we spoon...uh, I mean look at all the ladies."


"Yeah, LOL! That happened to me too! My ass was *this wide* after it was over! Wait...what?"


"*Sigh* Where are you Derek? Why won't you text me back?"

Thanks to Big Daddy Jeff for the link and request.